Emily Rubens

Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT # 128914) in California

I'm Emily Rubens,
a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist who helps people manage anxiety and overwhelm.

I provide online therapy to clients throughout California and often help people manage symptoms of anxiety and depression.

I often work with women, young adults, people who identify as part of the LGBTQ+ community, and adolescents throughout the state of California

Emily Rubens, LMFT at approach Therapy

Are you someone who wakes up feeling unsettled and stressed most days?

Do you feel on edge and irritable with no clear direction on how to manage it? Are you tired of feeling down and discouraged? 

You might be reading this because you are looking for a change. You notice that you spend long hours worrying about your problems but the overwhelm doesn’t seem to go away. You’re feeling distracted without a clear reason as to why. You feel disconnected in your relationships because you spend most of your energy trying to manage your stress all on your own.

You’re also having a hard time thinking positively about the future. When you’re faced with making an important choice, you overthink and panic about what to do. You often have a hard time looking inwards and identifying what it is you actually want.

When working with me, you will feel more confident in your ability to handle life’s ups and downs.

Imagine waking up feeling like you can take on the day. There’s less doubt and you feel empowered. You can manage your stress more effectively and you feel less guilty when you take time away from work. You have a stronger relationship with yourself and others because you can better identify your needs and how to communicate them. You’ve let go of unhealthy habits and feel forward momentum.

You deserve to slow down and enjoy your life - not simply power through it.

There is more to life than working hard and suffering.

I can help you work through the pain and hurt so you can feel more empowered, confident, and at ease in your life and body. Change is possible. Living the life you want is attainable. If we decide to work together, I’ll help you sift through the noise to:

  • Increase self-compassion and confidence;
  • Better understand your anxiety and learn ways to address it;
  • Feel more present in your day-to-day life;
  • Develop a stronger sense of work-life balance; and
  • Work through issues in your relationships.
how to sleep better with anxiety

As your therapist, I’ll help you create change at your own pace.

When working with me, know that there is no “right” or “wrong” way to heal.  You will not need to post a before and after photo in therapy. Every version of you deserves respect, kindness, and understanding. To start, all you need is a willingness to accept where you are at. 

Are you ready to take the first step towards achieving greater self-acceptance? If so, I can provide a space for us to work through whatever is going on when you feel ready. We can work together to help you live a more authentic and fulfilling life.

I'm also someone who knows how vulnerable it can feel to ask for help.

I understand how hard it is to ask for help when you feel anxious. It can feel overwhelming when you don’t know what to expect. You might find yourself worrying that you won’t be “good” at therapy.  Maybe you’re hesitant because it’s hard to describe your emotions or you’re unsure because you don’t quite know what your goals are.


I can be someone who understands your situation and supports you in creating ways to manage it. I understand therapy is an investment of your time and energy and am ready to help you identify what you want. While feeling uncertain is common when trying something new, therapy can help you feel empowered and learn to trust yourself. We can work together to figure it out.

Therapy is as unique as you are.

There is no one-size-fits-all therapy.  I use various frameworks to create an individualized treatment.  This also allows us to collaborate often to find what works best for you. This starts with an intake assessment for us to get to know each other. During the assessment process, we will talk about your background, quirks, concerns, and ways you learn best. This is an excellent time to determine whether we will work well together and discuss what you would like to accomplish in therapy.

I may also suggest mental exercises to help increase insight and foster skill development outside of sessions. Recommended activities are specific to you, your goals, your treatment stage, and how you learn best. I help clients go beyond “getting by” and move into a space where they can grow, thrive, and enjoy their lives.

Your mental health is not the only thing that defines you.

Sometimes people worry that their therapist will think they’re “crazy” or that their issues aren’t “bad enough”. When working with me, the goal of therapy is not to label your experience. I avoid narrow and limiting narratives that define ways of being.

I don’t use labels that dehumanize your experience. I also honor my client’s expertise on their own lives. 


Your mental health does not need to prohibit you from moving forward. It is possible to have fulfilling relationships, enjoyable work, and greater self-compassion. While I can’t guarantee that there won’t be some hurdles in the process, I can be there with you every step of the way.

Background and Specialties

I do some of my best work helping people 1) Manage their anxiety, 2) Work through complex relationships, and 3) Increase their confidence. I also work with clients to cultivate a more profound sense of self and help them navigate life’s stressful transitions.


I particularly enjoy working with women, young adults, and folks within and allied with the LGBTQIA+ community. Clients have shared that they appreciate my objectivity and ability to provide direct feedback. I often provide concrete strategies in sessions and know when to slow down the pace. I collaborate often and make sure my client’s voice and perspective is heard. Many of my clients report that they wish they had started therapy with me sooner. 


In addition to private practice, I have worked in other settings throughout the larger San Francisco Bay Area. Much of my early clinical years were spent in community-based centers and schools. Besides my current work with adults, I previously worked with adolescents, parents, and families.

Blog Posts By Emily Rubens
How to help a suicidal friend

How to Help a Suicidal Friend

It can be challenging to support someone considering taking their own life. It can bring up feelings of fear, helplessness, or even anger. You might worry that you’ll say the wrong thing and make them feel worse. If this sounds familiar, here are five tips on how to help a friend (and yourself) navigate suicidal ideation.

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Is CBT right for me

Is CBT Right for Me?

Is CBT Right for Me? Whether you are curious about therapy or you’ve recently decided to pursue it, chances are that you have heard about a therapeutic approach called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). At the same time, you might be reading this because you’re unsure if this therapy style will help you reach your goals.  In any case, take some

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Loving Yourself

Three Ways to Boost Your Confidence

Three Ways to Boost Your Confidence Confidence has a significant impact on various life outcomes. In fact, studies show a clear connection between confidence and occupational success, healthy relationships, a sense of well-being, positive perceptions by peers, academic achievement, and healthy coping skills (Trzesniewski, Donnellan, & Robins, 2003). Confidence begins developing from a young age. As we learn things like

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Interested in working with Emily ?

Emily works with clients who are physically located in the state of California in the United States.